Mom & Superwoman

its been a few days since i last posted. before my mom arrived from CA i was still teetering with getting myself re-grounded. it is like the roots of my tree have been lifted and i cannot seem to replant them. its the sheer realization that my world has been turned upside down and it is never turning back again. having o is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and its also a whirlwind. no matter how you prepare for motherhood, it will knock you off of your feet.

so my mom arrived just in the nick of time.

her support is a huge aid in my re-rooting myself. just to be able to look at o needing me, while i was needing my mom was fascinating. the innate attachment to a mama. 😉 she knows and accepts me in ways my son and hub do not. no words were expressed, it is just the energy between a mother and her child–its beautiful. although we talk sometimes twice a day, its her presence that really gave me the dose of comfort i needed. her ability to point out a few things was also helpful…

“L, you cannot be superwoman!”

“Oh, you mean i cannot breastfeed my baby, prepare his food, my & j’s food, sew up a few projects/gifts, clean the house, plant my garden, get the dog out, teach my classes, do some photo editing, get my hair done, play with o, go to yoga, and read a book all in the same day??”

yes, these are the things i try to accomplish in a day, or so it feels. my hobby list is outrageous! i look up at my tabs open in safari at the moment and its DIY a headboard, how to make a quilt and a cookie recipe… meanwhile, i am typing & trying to chomp down a bowl of grape nuts & almond milk while o sleeps. get a grip!!!!! my biggest battle is me. i am no longer trying to control my hub or the things around me, i am brutally crazy with myself! but i guess that is just how i am. yes, i cannot be superwoman, and i dont know that i am actually trying to be. i am just doing what seems enjoyable to do in one day. i suppose i could start watching daytime tv while drinking martinis?? no, there is a happy medium, this i know. it is just a matter of toning down. the most important part is that i am with o, playing, exploring, and being me with no pressure. NO PRESSURE.

so, mom really does know best. she made sure i got out alone. she made sure j and i got a date (which has to happen once a month, no wiggle room on this one,) she encouraged me to buy myself something nice, she made sure her and i got a date 😉 , and she applauded my newest hobby of being o’s mom. sending her home brought tears to my eyes, but i do think our distance makes our relationship that much sweeter. we are two peas in a pod and i am sure we would take things for granted if we were always in each other’s business. this is yet another example of being present and enjoying what we do have, rather than spending our time wishing for the next thing.

thank you mom.

and superwoman will try to tone it down.